I quickly cut the check

Dear Brother James
Thank you for attending to these details on my behalf. Please, thank Hon. Mrs Doores Morgan for me as well.
I have decided to ask my financial officer, Mr. Hugh G. Rection, to cut a check to you for the fees associated with re-validating my account. I have asked him to send you more than you ask, a total of $2896 USD, against any other expenses this matter may incur.
Please advise me exactly to what address to send this check.
I have attached a picture of the check for your verification.
Sincerely,
Father Roscoe P Coltrane

Ahhhhhh..... I knew it. This is going to cost me

The premise of all 419 scams (or, the Advance Fee Scam) is that some large sum of money has by some mysterious stroke of luck has suddenly been bequeathed upon you. In order to get the money transfered from whereever it is to your bank however proves to be somewhat difficult. Much paperwork needs to be done, and there are fees involved. So the idea of the 419 scam is to collect fees to "clear" the inheritance to be transferred to your account. All in the service of the Lord, of course. The object of what I'm doing, or "scam-baiting" is to make these criminals waste as much time and resources as is humanly possible, embarass themselves in the process, and send you souveneirs and trophies along the way....
Here is the wiki link for the
419 scam.

...and now to the payoff email-

WHAT TO DO, TIME.....
James Luis to me show details 4:25 PM (5 hours ago) Reply

FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER:
Hon. (Mrs) Doores Morgan
FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,SECRETARY
James Luis
5th Floor, Annex 3,
New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way,
Central AreaAbuja - Nigeria .

Attention: Father Roscoe P Coltrane
Once again, we want to thank you for your mail, we want to assure you that as far as you follow this transaction the way you are going, in the next couple of days, you will sing a different song. As requested, it will cost you US$980.00 (NINE HUNRED AND EIGHTY UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) to RE-ACTIVATE AND RE-VALIDATE YOUR FILE ONLY, so as soon as your file is ACTIVATED, we shall then instruct the paying bank to effect your payment without any delay. This is what you ought to do now, remember once again that we work with time here because we have too many things to cover up before the end of this first quarter, so any delay might be dangerous to this transaction.
Best Wishes, Hon. (Mrs.) Doores Morgan
The Federal Minister Finance (FMF).
PERSONAL SECRETARY: Mr. James Luis


So... time to get to business:

Roscoe Coltrane to James
Please send the documents and address to where I must send the money. Also, it might be nice to have a picture of Mrs Doores Morgan, of the Federal Ministry of Finance, so that I may know who I am dealing with on that side. A blessing to you, my son, and to your sheep.Father Roscoe P Coltrane

Back to the Nigerian Ministry of Finance

This email is a little terse, almost as if James Luis, personal secretary to the Nigerian Federal Minister of Finance, is suprised that I didn't even ask about the money in the last email. See below-






FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: Hon. (Mrs) Doores MorganFEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,SECRETARY: James Luis,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,Shehu Shagari Way, Central AreaAbuja - Nigeria .

Attention: Father Roscoe P Coltrane,

We received your mail, but you have not and did not even ask what it will cost you to get your file ACTIVATED. Well, know that we have a stipulated time mapped out for each and every file, so you are advised to make sure that you instruct your financial officer (Hugh G. Rection) to reach us immediately before it is late.

We expect your/there most urgent response, without which, your funds will be cancelled.

Best Wishes,

Hon. (Mrs.) Doores MorganThe Federal Minister Finance (FMF).PERSONAL SECRETARY: Mr. James Luis


Lordy, I don't want my funds to be canceled. Father Coltrane had better write back real quick, so that Mr. Luis doesn't think I'm stringing him along....

Dear James
You are correct, I am quite sure that it will cost something to get the file activated. I should have already anticipated this. Thank you for your concern and assistance in this matter. $900,000 is a large amount of money, and needs to be taken very seriously. How much money would you estimate it will cost to activate my file and get the funds transferred?

Father Roscoe

Always have more than one bait working

Ahhh, here's another one. We're going to try a different approach with this one, because this naughty little girl has already got a couple of baits of her own out there on the interweb. Here's the first letter:


Assistance to carry out a project of $17.500.000.00 from Miss Comfort Kona


Good day,
My name is Miss Comfort Kona, please I will want you to give attention to this my mail, hoping that this will mark the beginning of a long lasting family and business relationship .
I am totally convinced to write you in reference of the transfer of US $17.500.000.00 Million to you for investment purpose in your country. Though we have not met before but I strongly believe that one has to confid in someone to succeed in life.
There is this amount of Four million, five hundred thousand U.S dollars.($17.500,000.00) (HOW MUCH WAS THAT??) which my late Father (Late Mr Taribeo Williams Kona) deposited for me in a private storage and finance firm here in Abidjan before he assassinated by some unknown hoodlums in on going political war here .

Because of recent political/civil war eructated here I decided to invest this money in your country or anywhere safe enough outside Africa for security and political reasons.
I want you to help me to retrieve and transfer this money to your country , as I will also want you to be my forster parent (She wants me to be her foster parent...huh) in your country after the money has being transfered to you and you have make arrangement for me to come and live with you in your country
.If you can be of assistance to me, I will be pleased to offer to you 25% Of this total fund (indicated above). because you will also see to the business that the money will be invested with because of my age.
Further details will be made known to you on confirmation of your interest to assist me .
Your urgent reply will be highly appreciated.
I Love Your .
With sincere regards.
Miss Comfort Kona

And here's my initial response. We'll see what happens.

Dear Miss Kona,
You sound awful nice. Your name is familiar. Are you sure we haven't met before? I'm sorry to hear about the assassination of your father by unknown hoodlums. If I could be there to help you I would. I'll bet your really pretty. Do you have a picture of yourself? Better yet, before I can do any business with your bank, do you have a picture of the bank documents with the Four million, five hundred thousand U.S dollars.($17.500,000.00) on it?

I will contact my financial officer and instruct him to contact your office from the bank, to prepare for the transfer of funds. His name is Hugh G. Rection, and the bank is 1st National County Bank of Trust, Inc.

Once again, it is time for the daily blessing of the sheep, so I will write more later.

Sincerely,
Father RP Coltrane

Editor's Note: Read about Kona Comfort Brand coffee here

Okay, we've got a live one.

Two or more responses and some interest is shown. The previous bait, Dr. Mark ALi of the unused ATM card, has not responded. So now my focus is going to be James Luis and the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Finance.

My dear brother James,
How suprised and relieved I am as well to discover that I am not dead. I am sorry to say we do not have telephones here in the monastery, only email. This is because we priests have taken a solemn oath to never use the telephone, as it the tool of the devil. As the Bible says, "Touch not the unclean thing".

I will contact our financial officer and instruct him to contact your office from the bank, to prepare for the transfer of funds. His name is Hugh G. Rection, and the bank is 1st National County Bank of Trust, Inc.

Once again, it is time for the daily blessing of the sheep, so I will write more later.

Sincerely,
Father RP Coltrane

James Luis writes back

FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: Hon. (Mrs) Doores Morgan
FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,
SECRETARY: James Luis,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,
Shehu Shagari Way, Central Area
Abuja - Nigeria .

Attention: Father Roscoe P Coltrane,

This honourable office are in receipt of your mail. You are so lucky to have responded to us, otherwise we would have beleived that you are indeed dead.

As we resumed office, your funds was called back from the office of the UNITED NATIONS since we have been tested and certified capable to handle every foreign contract payments. We are surprised to receive this information that you are dead and indeed wants to verify the truth of the matter.

In the light of the above, your funds has been programmed for instant payment which is supposed to take place within the next five (5) working days. But the problem we are having here is that your file has been marked "DORMANT" , therefore, you need to RE-VALIDATE AND ACTIVATE YOUR FILE with an OFFICIAL FEES paid before your part payment of ( $900.000.00 US Dollars) can be effected without any delay.

Finally, in other to make us beleive that we are dealing with the right person, you are mandated to re-confirm the following particulars:-

1] Your full name and contact address
2] Your House/Mobile and Office telephone number
3] Your Banking Details where you wish to receive this funds

As soon as we receive these information and your willingness to RE-VALIDATE AND ACTIVATE YOUR FILE/ACCOUNT. Then we shall tell you what to do next.

Best Wishes,

Hon. (Mrs.) Doores Morgan
The Federal Minister Finance (FMF).
PERSONAL SECRETARY: Mr. James Luis

I reply to James Luis, in the Nigerian Ministry of Finance

Dear Mr. Luis,
So sorry to hear that you were eat by a car on your way to the office. Thank God you are all right. What's this about $900,000? I don't know any Barrister Frank Bobby and I am most certainly not dead. Let me know details. I have to go do the daily blessing of the sheep.

sincerely yours,
Father Roscoe P Coltrane
Holy Apostolic Armeninan Order of St. Bartholomew.

They say lightning doesnt strick twice...

... in the same place. Who are "THEY" kidding? I'm the luckiest guy in the world. In addition to inheriting $9 million an hour or so ago, turns out the government of Nigeria would like to pay me $900,000, if I will verify for them that I'm not dead. Think I'm kidding? Look...





FROM THE NEW ELECTED MINISTER: Hon. (Mrs) Doores MorganFEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE,SECRETARY: Mr. James Luis,
5th Floor, Annex 3, New Federal Secretariat Complex,Shehu Shagari Way, Central AreaAbuja - Nigeria .
Attention: Sir
My name is Mr. James Lius, I'm the personal Secretary to the new Minister of Finance, and I’m directed to contact you by the Minister to urgently confirm from you if actually you know one Barrister Frank Bobby who claims to be your business associate / partner in Nigeria . I received a letter from a woman. Barrister Frank Bobby. On 21th December 2007.Saying that you are dead and his request was this. She will like to change all the Information that you gave to us as our bonafide beneficiary.
This development is coming now that the Ministry wants to offset all your outstanding payments to all our legal foreign beneficiaries around the world in which your payment file was affected. I am written this mail to you to verify really if you are dead so that I will do to his request. But the must important thing is that I don t want to lose my job that is why I am contacting you to verify the truth. as you must know that many things is happening now in the world especially in my country Nigeria .
Also. Please I am so sorry for my late informing you all this. Moreover I was hill. I have an accident I was eat by a car on my way to office. But I thank God that I am all right as well. As you may know, a part payment of( $900.000.00 US Dollars) will be paid in your favor. We need to confirm from you if it's really true that you are dead and if we did not hear from you it automatically means that you are actually dead and the information passed to us by Barrister Frank Bobby, will be worked with.
You are to contact me through my email address as soon as you receive this message so as to know the true position of things with you so that we would not make any mistake in remitting your out-standing payment to a wrong person/account. Your swift response will help this ministry a lot. Do email me with your full names and direct phone number for an easy communication, your age and occupation to this effect.
For more information you can call this line:- 234-808-753-2434. As soon as we hear from you. we will not hecitate to tell you what to do next.
Best Regards.
Hon. (Mrs.) Doores MorganThe Federal Minister Finance (FMF).PERSONAL SECRETARY: Mr. James Luis

The bait.

I, of course, am quite delighted to here that I've inherited just over $9 million dollars. It's a dream come true... what steps will I have to take to claim my $4000 a day ATM card?
I decide I need to write back:

Dear Dr. MARK ALI
I cannot begin to express to you my complete and utter suprise that Ihave inherited $9,000000.000,20,0000 (NINE MILLION TWEENTH THOUSANDUNITED STATES DOLLARS). I cannot imagine who this is from. I knewthat there was money in our family from many years ago, but had no idea that one day I would be issued an ATM card good for $4000.Because I am a Reverend here at our parish, I can see many charitable donations to our various causes here in Denver. Let me know how to proceed with this transaction. Below find my address
The Right Reverend Father Roscoe P Coltrane
Holy Apostolic Arminian Order of St. Bartholomew
2112 Rushband Street
Denver CO 34901
(123) 867-5309

YAY! A new 419 letter. Let the games begin.

Some of you may remember my earlier foray with the reverse 419 scam- witness the fun in the archive here. So now I've decided to shift focus of my leisure time activities and experiment a little more with this- it's a rousing good time. Let's start with your basic contact letter, received yesterday at a "catcher" email address designed for this purpose. This is standard issue stuff, all caps as usual.


ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY.



THIS IS TO OFFICIALY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVING TO YOU IN RESPECT TO YOUR CONTRACT / INHERITANCE PAYMENT SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL BEEN DALEY BY THE BANK OFFICIALS. SUCH ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP.

IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM,RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT A T M CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, EUROPE AND THE UNITED STATE, AS WELL AS THE UNITED KINGDOM THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT MR UMARU MUSA YAR'AUA (GCFR FEDERAL REPUBLIC NIGERIA.

OUR CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN A T M CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY A T M /MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM IS FOURTH THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE LET US KNOW BY FORWARDING THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIONS;

1. YOUR FULL NAME:..............................................................................................2. PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:................................................................................3. ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD TO(P.O BOX NOTACCEPTED).............................................................................................................4. YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:.........................................................

THE A T M CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE YOU $9,000000.000,20,0000 (NINE MILLION TWEENTH THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) FOR NOW,FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON OR BANK(s). THAT HAS BEEN TRYING TO PAY YOU, YOUR MONEY BUT FAILS TO DO SO? THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT. AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR MORE DIRECTION ON THIS REGARDS ON HOW TO CONTACT THE SWIFT CARD CONSULT PAYMENT CENTER FOR

IMMEDIATE ISSUING OF YOUR A T M CARD NOTE:/ : THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (303) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE IN ALL FUTURE CORRESPONDENCE.

THE CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE
DR, MARK ALI.