Helping Mrs. Wells

I'm intrigued by the note from Mrs. Marilyn Wells. I think perhaps Father Roscoe P Coltrane can help. I send her back a quick note:

Roscoe Coltrane to marilyn_050wel.
show details Apr 5

Dear Ma'am,
I have received your letter of 4/4/2007 from a colleague who thought I might be better able to help you. My name is Father Roscoe Coltrane, and I'm the Director of Charitable Outreach and Donations for our church here in Los Angeles, US. Our church, the Holy Apostolic Arminian Order of St. Bartholomew, has offices all over the world including London, Los Angeles, Paris, and the Netherlands. We are a part of many efforts to bring about the end of violence and conflict all over the world. We are able to advise people on business ventures of all types, the profits of which are then turned over to various charities and beneficiaries. Currently we are seeking to donate between $200,000 and $400,000 US dollars to various refugees from all over the world.
I have read your letter and found your idea very interesting.
Unfortunately this money is already slated for existing members of the Holy Apostolic Arminian Order of St. Bartholomew. I'm afraid I am unable to help you, as our church has strict rules governing donations. Unless you were to become a member of our faith, there is nothing more I can do for you.
If you ever decide to join the Holy Apostolic Arminian Order of St. Bartholomew, then of course I would be delighted and honored to help you in any way I can.

Blessings,
The Right Reverend Roscoe P Coltrane
Director,
Charitable Outreach and Donations
Holy Apostolic Arminian Order of St. Bartholomew
United States